Ups and downs...

My chest continues to be sore and it has now become a sore subject for me. I have to admit, its been getting me down over the last couple of days because I simply don't know why it aches, other than knowing it must be cancer related. It really only aches on deep breaths and during certain heart beat intervals while laying on my back or sides. After a while of laying down, it goes away, I figure because my heart beat slows down. So its been a concern to me and I have to wonder if this is temporary or maybe the cancer is on the attack. It causes me to actually get a bit anxious to get back on the chemo to see if that will back it off. I had the appointment with the cardiologist and everything seemed to check out. There was a little bit more of fluid buildup but nothing that is interfering with the functions of the heart or lungs. I finished off the steroidal anti-inflammorty today and will finish the anti-biotics tomorrow. After that, its wait and see.

I have increased my meditations to focus on getting the body defense systems into place to protect the heart as well as bring back the positive energy and confidence in my mind. It has been very helpful. Also, I went into the office today to see some coworkers, get caught up on some email and to get my mind off the aches and pains. Doing so was very beneficial. I didn't get much done but it was well worth going in. My good friend and a coworker who has been there since we pretty much opened the office, Sushil, was about ready to leave for Sri Lanka, his home country, until the end of January. I consider Sushil and I to be close and getting to see him before he takes off was important. I got him caught up on everything that has been going on and we had a real good conversation. Although the conversation was really about me, getting to talk to Sushil is like taking a load off and so I have been feeling much better through the evening. I will miss his company over the next few weeks, but we will be staying in contact via email and he will be checking in on the blog. With that, hi Sushil, thanks for reading, I hope your long flight wasn't that bad!

On one last note, I had to pause during this posting to see my friend Brian off. He is headed back to Japan tomorrow where he works as a commercial diver. Brian has been visiting during the holiday and we had a good time watching the Seahawk game on Sunday. With him visiting on Sunday, Beth was able to get out with the girls and enjoy a day of shopping and leave us boys to the game. So here's to Sushil and Brian having good, safe flights and me having just a good day...